Before my daughter Wrenley passed away, I wrote a letter that I hoped she would read when she got older. My hope was that she would see how deeply I cared about her, before she stepped foot on this planet. God had other plans.
One of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life was reading that letter from the pulpit at her funeral. I needed to do it, because although she had already gone to be with the Lord, that was the time God had ordained for me to speak.
Here is the letter:
“When I heard you were coming into this world, it was surreal. Knowing that God is forming you in your mother is so beautiful. Before you were in your mothers womb, God knew you. What your purpose is in the Kingdom of God, I’m not certain. I am certain that we are called to glorify God in our bodies. My prayer for you my child is that you lay down your life as a living sacrifice. Not begrudgingly or because dad says so, but because Christ is your greatest treasure. He is worth far more than everything this world has to offer you. I pray you remember that.”
At the funeral, I added these words:
“I looked forward to seeing you in that pew. I looked forward to seeing you not like my preaching. I looked forward to showing you all that God has done in our lives. I looked forward to looking out the window of the parsonage, and watching you play at the school. I looked forward to sitting on the porch and watching you walk home from school. I looked forward to meeting your first boyfriend, and I really looked forward to not liking him. I love you my child, and I trust you Jesus.”
Even today as I write these words, I cry. There are a million little things that trigger the tears, yet I still rejoice. God had a purpose, God has used her little life for good, and I trust Jesus.
The Hymn that we chose to sing at her funeral has become an anthem for Tiffani and I:
“Simply trusting every day; Trusting through a stormy way; Even when my faith is small; Trusting Jesus that is all
Trusting as the moments fly; Trusting as the days go by; Trusting Him whate’er befall; Trusting Jesus that is all.”
In the sovereign, good, and merciful God we put our trust.